Jewish Wedding
Jewish Wedding questions and answers
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Q: Jewish Wedding?
My boyfriend converted to judaism almost two years ago and I converted almost one year ago. We have decided to get married and we want to have a Jewish ceremony. The problem is neither of us has ever witnessed a Jewish wedding so we don't really know what we are supposed to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
A: try attending to one.....research the web on the subject maybe you will find a lot of help full info good luck
Q: What color of dress should be avoided on a Jewish wedding?
Two of my friends are getting married. The guy comes from Israel, so they will have a Jewish wedding.
I'm thinking about wearing a black dress to attend their wedding, but not sure if it's appropriate. Does anyone know what color should be avoided on a Jewish wedding?
Thanks!
A: Depends on how religious his family is- being Israeli doesn't necessarily mean he's Orthodox too.
Religious women wouldn't wear red (which is associated with seduction) and immodest dresses (significant cleavage, bare arms, shoulders or thighs), but you're not a religious Jew and you're not expected to follow these customs.
Mazal Tov!
Q: What should I wear at a Jewish wedding? Which colours are preferable?
I got invited to a Jewish wedding and I have never attended one before. I've been told I have to be dressed modestly, with knees and elbows covered and up to the neck bone. (jackets are accepted, aren't they?).
But I was wondering if the dress has to be long and which colours have to be avoided. If possible, I'd avoid black because I wear it everyday at work. Thank you!
A: According to an American idea of what is Reform, Conservative or Orthodox, our synagogue is most equivalent to a Conservative synagogue. It is therefore a mark of respect for women to cover their shoulders and for men (even non-Jewish men) to wear a kippah (Hebrew) or skullcap while in the synagogue. The act of covering one's head in a synagogue is to show respect for God.
Q: How would you combine the traditional hand fasting, jewish wedding, and collaring ceremonies?
Have you ever gone to a wedding ceremony that was a mixture of multiple culture traditions? What do you remember about it? I am looking for an every day opinion please. I want to know the ideas of everyone. Not just those who are wiccan, jewish, or slave minded.
Please, anyone with experience
A: Well, I am Christian, not wiccan, but was married to a Jewish woman once and am currently training my second wife to be a Domme. My first wife and I were married in a Baptist church, she wasn't very kosher. Anyway, I would say go on with the Jewish wedding and add the collaring on the end. I'm not sure how the Rabbi will go along with the ceremonial flagellation, though, if there is to be any. I have no idea what the wiccan stuff is, so I couldn't help you there.
Q: Where can I study a First Century Jewish Wedding online?
I'm seeking to do a study on First Century Jewish Wedding ceremonies, not just the wedding but the whole process leading up to the marriage. Is there a legitimate place that I can study this subject online?
A: Unfortunately I know of no place online. The details are basically in three tractates of the Talmud: Ketuvos- the wedding contract, how it works, what it must contain etc. Kiddushin- the actual betrothal and how the subsequent wedding is carried out. Gittin- the divorce document, but with a discussions on the actual wedding as well. Yevamos- actually about Levirate marriage, but deals with normal marriage as part of the discussions on Levirate marriage
Q: Could you please describe a Jewish Wedding Party?
I've only seen a Jewish wedding party on T.V.! But it does look like alot of fun, could you plz explain to me step by step what the traditions are and the meaning behind them? For example I think its the groom that steps on a glass? What does this symbolize, and I think the bride and groom are carried while sitting on chairs? What is the traditional music that is played? It looks like a lot of fun. Maybe you could describe your marriage or your mom and dad's. Thanks!
A: Judaism views marriage as the ideal human state. Both the Torah and the Talmud view a man without a wife, or a woman without a husband, as incomplete. "A man who does not marry is not a complete person." (Lev. 34a) "Any man who has no wife lives without joy, without blessing, and without goodness." (B. Yev. 62b)
In addition, Judaism views marriage as holy, as a sanctification of life. The word kiddushin, which means "sanctification", is used in Jewish literature when referring to marriage. Marriage is seen as a spiritual bonding between two people and as the fulfillment of God's commandment.
Furthermore, Judaism views marriage as purposeful. The purposes of marriage are both companionship and procreation. According to the Torah, woman was created because "It is not good for a man to be alone." (Genesis 2:18) In addition, marriage enables fulfillment of the first commandment: "Be fruitful and multiply." (Gen. 1:28)
In addition to being ideal, holy and purposeful, Judaism views marriage as a contractual agreement between two people with legal rights and obligations. The Ketubah is the marriage contract that explains the basic material, conjugal and moral responsibilities of the husband to his wife. It is signed by the groom, as well as two witnesses, and given to the bride during the wedding ceremony.
The purpose of the Ketubah is to protect the woman's rights during the marriage and in case she is divorced or widowed. Historically, the Ketubah marked a great leap forward in the thinking about the rights of women.
It is forbidden for Jewish couples to live together without a Ketubah. If the Ketubah is lost, a new one must be written.
It has become traditional, since at least the fourteenth century, to decorate the Ketubah as artwork and hang it in the home as a keepsake.
It should be noted that Judaism's elevation of the institution of marriage has contributed greatly to Jewish survival over the generations. Despite the dispersion of Jews throughout the world and the oppression of Jews by other nations, Jews have succeeded to preserve their religious and cultural heritage for thousands of years partly due to the sanctity of marriage and the resulting stability of the family.
Jewish Law (Halakha) does not require that a rabbi officiate at a Jewish wedding ceremony, as the marriage is seen as essentially a private contractual agreement between a man and a woman. Nevertheless, it is common for rabbis to officiate at wedding ceremonies today.
While a rabbi is not mandatory, Jewish Law does require that at least two witnesses, unrelated to the couple, attest that all the aspects of the marriage occurred.
The Sabbath prior to the wedding, it has become customary in the synagogue to call the groom up to bless the Torah during prayer services. The groom's blessing of the Torah (aliyah) is called an Aufruf. This custom conveys the hope that Torah will be a guide for the couple in their marriage. It also provides an opportunity for the community, what generally sings "Mazal Tov" and throws candy, to express their excitement about the upcoming wedding. Certainly the Aufruf effectively makes both the community and the Torah a part of the newlyweds journey into married life.
The day of the wedding, it is customary for the bride and groom to fast. They also recite psalms and ask God for forgiveness for their transgressions. Thus the couple enters into their marriage fully cleansed.
Before the wedding ceremony itself begins, some grooms will veil the bride in a ceremony called Badeken. This tradition is based on the Biblical story of Jacob, Rachel and Leah.
Next the bride and groom are escorted to a marriage canopy called a Chuppah. It is believed that on their wedding day, the bride and groom are like a queen and king. Thus, they should be escorted and not walk alone.
The Chuppah is basically a piece of cloth held up by four poles. Some people use a tallit prayer shawl for the Chuppah cloth. The Chuppah is open on all sides, which is reminiscient of the hospitality Abraham and Sarah showed guests in their open tent.
The Chuppah is usually held outside, under the stars, just prior to sundown, as a reminder of the blessing given by God to Abraham, that his children will be as numerous "as the stars of the heavens."
Now under the Chuppah, the bride circles the groom seven times. Two blessings are then recited over wine: the standard blessing over wine and a blessing related to God's commandments about marriage.
Next the groom places the ring on the bride's finger. As he puts the ring on her finger, the groom says "Be sanctified (mekudeshet) to me with this ring in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel." The exchange of the wedding ring is the heart of the wedding ceremony, the point at which the couple is considered to be married.
Next the Ketubah is read out loud. And then the groom gives and the bride accepts the Ketubah.
It is customary to conclude the wedding ceremony with the recitation of the Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot), which acknowledge God as the creator of happiness, human beings, the bride and the groom.
After the blessings have been recited, the couple drinks wine from a glass, and then the groom breaks the glass with his right foot. The custom of breaking a glass under the Chuppah is derived from the Talmud. It is written that a rabbi broke a vase during a wedding feast in order to warn those present against excessive joy. Even during times of great joy, we should remember the tragic destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.
Immediately after the Chuppah, the married couple goes to a private room (Heder Yichud) to break their fast. Going to the private room is a symbolic consummation of the marriage, as if the husband is bringing the wife into his home.
It is traditional at this point to have a festive meal with music and dancing. In more orthodox Jewish weddings, men and women dance separately. There are traditional songs and dances, such as the Hora. It is also traditional to raise the bride and groom on chairs during the dancing.
It is a mitzvah to make the bride and groom happy on their wedding day. Therefore, guests tend to participate and work hard to add joy to the celebration.
After so much dancing, it is time to eat. A prayer is recited over the Challah Bread, and then the meal begins.
During the meal, often the rabbi speaks and toasts are made. Then everyone says Grace after Meals (Birkat Hamazon) together, and they include the Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot).
The whole week following the wedding, friends and family organize festive meals for the new couple. The special Grace after Meals which includes the Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot) is said during this week of festivities.
Q: How do you combine elements from a Jewish wedding with a Hindu wedding, in India?
I want to get married in India, and I am Jewish. My hindu boyfriend wants a full-on traditional Hindu wedding. But I would like to include some elements from a Jewish wedding (Marrying under the chupah, breaking the glass) at my Hindu wedding. What other things can you suggest I introduce to the ceremony and reception?
Fabulous answers get you an invite!!!! (when it happens!)
A: "How do you combine elements from a Jewish wedding with a Hindu wedding?"
This is an easy one - you don't.
The bottom line is this - Judaism prohibits marriage between Jews and non-Jews. Therefore, to incorporate "Jewish" ritual into an intermarriage wedding ceremony would be a farce. I'm not trying to insult you or your boyfriend - these are simply the facts. It's not a matter of intermarriage being good or bad in Judaism - it simply doesn't exist - the Torah doesn't recognize it as a valid marriage. Of course you could marry this guy in a hindu ceremony, and the government where you live will recognize this, and you could live together, raise children, and call it what you want. But to bring Judaism into it is just a bald-faced lie. You can have a Jewish wedding, or you can intermarry, but you can't have both.
Again, I'm sorry if this seems harsh, but these are just the facts.
You know, I actually went to a wedding between a Jewish girl and a Catholic guy, where they tried to incorporate elements of both faiths. Allow me to tell you what happened:
The highlight of the ceremony was when members of both families came from the two sides of the room, and met near the altar. They had candles in their hands, and from these candles, they lit a large "unity candle" in the middle of the room. This ritual has no source in Judaism or Catholicism (hey, kind of like intermarriage itself), and was just really hokey. And that's what you're going to get if you try to come up with some kind of "HinJew" wedding.
But the most memorable moment in the ceremony came at the end, when the husband stepped on and broke a wineglass, as you mention in your answer. Do you know what the glass represents? I don't think you do, because if you did, you probably wouldn't want to incorporate it in your wedding to a Hindu. The breaking of the glass at the end of the wedding ceremony is a reminder that we're supposed to put the memory of Jerusalem above our highest joy. Even when our happiness is at its peak, we still remember the destruction of the Temple, and keep hope that the household the new Jewish couple will build will be a step in the restoration of said Temple. That's why we break the glass. Having a non-Jew marry a Jewish woman and stomp on a wineglass isn't a commemoration of the destruction of the Temple, it's a continuation of it! A union that the Torah explicitly forbids is adding to the desolation of Jerusalem, and to break a glass in the ceremony isn't just ironic, it's a complete betrayal of Judaism.
I'm not going to tell you not to marry this guy, because he's your longtime boyfriend, and I'm just some random religious fanatic (or so I imagine you'll think) on Yahoo Answers. But I would ask one thing of you, and it's for your sake only. Don't lie to yourself. (to be continued...)
Q: What is the name of the song in Family Guy, Road to Germany that everyone is dancing to at the jewish wedding?
In Season 7 of Family Guy, There is an episode called "Road to Germany". In this episode, there was a Jewish wedding. During the post-ceremony celebrations, everyone dances to what sounds like a jewish folk song. I am not sure of the name but I am sure it is not "Hava Naguila". if anyone knows what it might be, please help.
A: The song you are looking for is called "Maccabi Shoham to the Enbeeay."
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Q: how to plan a jewish wedding?
what needs to be in a jewish wedding and do you plan it?
A: This is a link that will tell you all about it.
http://www.myjewishlearning.com/lifecycle/Marriage/LiturgyRitualCustom/ModernCustoms/Howto_Wedding.htm
It is pretty simple really. You need a bride/groom, Rabbi, Cantor, Chupa, Ketubahm, ring (only the groom gives the ring) and a guest or two to be witnesses. Other things are not required but are a good idea (kiddush cups, kippot, etc)
Anyway, the link should help.
I will be getting married within a few years. I find the prospect frightening. LOL
Q: Is it tradition in Jewish Wedding Ceremony to stand during kiss?
I have never seen anyone stand until they are announced and walking down, but I just attended a Jewish Ceremony and the Rabbi made everyone stand right as they were kissing? Is this normal tradition?
A: There is no kiss during a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony. You're thinking of a Christian wedding, where the traditional kiss is a toned-down version of a pagan custom to actually consummate the marriage in full view of the guests.
It may be that there are Jews having wedding ceremonies that end with a kiss, but this isn't a Jewish tradition - it's borrowing from non-Jewish traditions (like playing a pipe organ in a synagogue). So, sitting, standing, don't know, don't care. The answer to your question is no.
To learn what actually does happen at weddings done in the Jewish tradition, check out this nifty guide: http://www.aish.com/literacy/lifecycle/Guide_to_the_Jewish_Wedding.asp
I hope this helps clear things up.
Q: What songs to play for a Jewish Wedding.?
I'm a pianist and will be playing for a Jewish Wedding. They have asked me to select songs to play for the half hour before the wedding begins. I need some recommendations - pieces that are appropriate for a wedding
A: Suggested Prelude Jewish Wedding Music
Erev Shel Shoshanim
Adonai Sfatai Traditional
Ma’oz Tzur Traditional Hanukkah Song
Jerusalem of Gold
Y’did Nefesh
Ani Le Dodi
Q: What time is okay to start a Jewish Wedding Ceremony on a Saturday if sunset is scheduled at 6:50pm?
Basically I am asking how long after "sunset" can I schedule the start of the affair. I was thinking of doing things a little backwards to incorporate the Jewish and Non-Jewish Relatives. I was thinking of having the cocktail hour before the ceremony (we are getting married and having the reception at the same location). I was thinking the cocktail hour would be from 7-8 with the ceremony from 8 to 8:30 and then dinner following.
We are still in the very beginning stages of planning... so I am up for any suggestions.
A: If sunset is at 6:50, Sabbath is not over until 7:40 (50 minutes after sunset). (also take into account traveling time for your relatives.) p.s: I am very impressed with your consideration to your Jewish relatives!
Congratulations on your wedding!
Q: does the bride throw the bouquet in a Jewish wedding?
does the bride OR groom throw anything at the guests during the wedding in a Jewish ceremony? (ex: in christian weddings the bride usually throws a bouquet at the women in attendance)
A: nope. not at the weddings i've been at least
Q: What are the responsibilities of the maid of honor in a jewish wedding?
A: To pick up the rice that people throw after the ceremony and bring it back to the store for a refund.
Q: what to wear in a formal jewish wedding at 11 am? will a red long dress will be apropriate? thanks a lot!?
I have a formal jewish wedding at 11 am in a hotel, will a red long dress will be apropriate for it? the wedding is next week and I am clueless about the dress I should wear, can anybody give me ideas. thanks a lot
A: i never have liked the idea of red being worn at a wedding (if it's a bright, lipstick kind of red). if you know what wedding color the bride has chosen-or know someone who might have heard, go with that color or a color like it. if not, than blue, green, a maroon or plum colored dress would look nice. if none of those, a classic black never fails.